Ok, so let me get this straight. Jessica Simpson spends $2000 on underwear, and I get to go to the bank for a line of credit to pay my property taxes. Dear universe, where is thy justice?? Time for this maniac to get a boob job. Oh wait. That costs money too. Aw fuck it.
This morning I had to take my daughter to the clinic because she was complaining of a sore throat and a tummy ache, plus she had a fever. The clinic is only a 2 minute drive from here at Impact Plaza and as I was turning right into the parking lot, some total fucking asshole piece of shit driving a white SUV and talking on a cell phone decided that he actually had the right-of-way and turned left in front of me. I honked but he didn’t even flinch. He just kept right on talking and driving his dick replacement of a vehicle. I have to admit that if I’d had a gun and didn’t want to traumatize a 5-year-old, I’d have shot the fucker in the face and felt like I was doing the world a favour while doing it. Hopefully the next time he pulls something like that he’ll run into someone who does have a gun and who doesn’t mind traumatizing people. Or, since Impact is frequented by a lot of Asians who shop at the T&T Chinese Supermarket, maybe he’ll run into some unassuming-looking little kung fu expert whole do a flying roundhouse and kick his worthless head off his worthless shoulders.
Remember – if you’re a dickhead going to Subway or wherever, and you’re turning left, you don’t have the right-of-way in front of a guy taking his child who just vomited to see the doctor. You cocksucking motherfucking worthless piece of shit.
Here's a call that would probably never get played on the air:
"Hey CFOX - thanks for working so hard at forcing 104.9 XFM to change formats! It's great having no other stations in Vancouver to listen to besides yours! I especially love the way you beat them at their own game; matching their format song-for-song, and then, once they had no choice but to switch to soft jazz or whatever the fuck it is they play now, switching back to your shitty old format! Because we all know that you can never get enough Nickelback, Aerosmith and AC/DC! Now your loyal listeners - you know - the car theives and the grow-op owners - can all enjoy that shitty old rock and you can keep making money airing your hydroponics, condom and bait car ads!"
Don't get me wrong - I'm not against free enterprise and I know XFM is owned by Rogers - who I hate - but that's not the point. The point is they intentionally took away my freedom of choice. It wouldn't have been as bad if they'd stuck with the format that they stole from XFM, but instead they just went back to their nasty mix of good songs with an unhealthy dose of old (and new) crap that I hate. Now when "Back in Black" comes on I can't just scream and switch to XFM like I used to be able to do. Luckily, my car gets a pretty good signal from 107.7 The End in Seattle so I often switch to them, but if I'm walking and listening to my Walkman I'm out of luck. So I'll end up having to switch to CFUN and enduring one of Dr. Laura's biased rants. Great. Thanks again, CFOX.
Being crowded at the checkout. When you're standing there and someone - usually some old bat - stands in your personal space like it'll magically make the line move more quickly. The other day it was a guy doing it to me - some old guy - and he was wearing Polo. POLO! Oh fuck where's my gun??