Spam!

Sometimes, email spam can be entertaining, even bordering on poetic. This is one of those times.

Every girl in town talks about him!
He is so attractive and handsome!
And what wonderful things he do in bed! Damn!
He is a Pleasure Machine!

Observations

I've noticed that most guys with goatees are assholes.

My weird life

I guess I'm weird because I notice things. But the things I notice are what I find weird. I actually consider myself somewhat normal. For example, today I finally dragged my lazy ass to the gym. While pulling into the parking lot, I wondered whether it was "Bring Your Elderly Asian Mother to the Community Centre" day. Or maybe it was just a memorial service. Either way I found it strange. And then I saw the crazy old bald headed German dude with the strap-on glasses who thinks that ping pong is the world's greatest exercise. Although that doesn't stop him from doing resistance training in the lobby by putting rubber hoses with handles on them around the support pillars and having at it. So you see? It's everyone else who's weird. Hey I just realized I didn't swear once in this post. Motherfucker!

The truth about turtles

Contrary to popular belief, a turtle's shell is not its house. It cannot retreat all the way inside that shell, and that shell does not, in fact, contain a tea kettle, bed, fireplace or other amenities often implied by children's book authors and graphic designers. The people who have been perpetuating this myth are fucking douchebags and should die.

Thought for the day

The guy who invented speedbumps is a cocksucking douchebag.

Children's Book Redux

And here's my other lost entry. My soon-to-be-released children's book. Reserve your copy now!

Money Saving Tip for "Monster Truck" Drivers Redux

Since that fucker cancelled our server account without warning I lost several posts and this was one of them. I don't remember the exact wording of the original post, but basically it comes down to this. If you're one of those douchebags who drives a big SUV or pickup truck, here's a way for you to save a huge amount of money and get exactly the same point across to those around you.

An open letter to Stephen Harper on the recently announced Federal Income Tax increase

Go fuck yourself. Bitch.